GAME ON
**Note: there are 50 games referenced, but not named, in this story. For those who like games: enjoy! For those who don’t: this story is probably a good one to skip.
There is a favourite family photo of our youngest daughter, aged 4, clutching two bocce balls and crying in abject despair at getting her butt kicked in a game of Cottage Ball.[1] For years she hated this picture…much as she hated failing miserably at something everyone else was enjoying…and everyone’s enjoyment of her misery over failing at it. We love this picture because it captured the process of her indoctrination into our ‘gamified’ approach to life.
This is a rite of passage that her sisters underwent before her. Our eldest had it easy because she had the benefit of having younger siblings to beat. Though when she invited her gramma to play cards, my Mom asked “Do I have to let you win?” With our middle daughter, our game-based parenting resulted in a Pompeii level event at a pirate themed mini putt course.[2] At some point it was just one dog’s leg or ricochet too many and clouds of rage began to shoot out her ears. It was a Jekell and Hyde moment. Or maybe the Exorcist. Either way, suddenly golfing with 30 live alligators revealed itself to be a very, very bad idea.
For the kids, there was no escape from our ABG (always be gaming) world. It came to them through both nature and nurture. They are the offspring of game-oriented parents, whose “courtship” took place beneath the romantically dimmed lights (with neon accents) and sweet serenade (of beeps, boings, blasts) of the university arcade. A night out (at said arcade) would often be bookended by a board game and getting home on rooftops. Whatever magic (mushroom) power-up was at play, it worked. Perhaps I saw a hero in the making - an Alex Rogan? Perhaps he was taken with the glow of falling geometric shapes reflected in my watery (strained) eyes?[2] Or we maybe were impressed by each other’s shooting reflexes (him) or roller ball skills (me)? I think we recognized that we both preferred two player mode.
Even if the kids didn’t get the game gene, they had no choice but to embrace a game-coloured glasses world view. Game participation in our household is unavoidable. Everything can be a game: picking up sticks, pulling out sticks, throwing sticks, hitting balls with sticks, throwing things at sticks, throwing sticks at sticks. Throwing dice, lying about dice, betting with dice. Throwing discs into cans, at targets, across fields. Hitting balls with rackets, paddles, paddle rackets, feet, mallets, over nets, off of nets, into nets, through nets. Stones can be skipped, stacked, thrown, and cleared. Bean bags can be kicked and tossed. There is no conversation that can’t be morphed into a contest of trivia, word play, memory, or a “best-of” battle. And all of this before we even crack a deck of cards, open the (extensive) board game cupboard, or turn on a console.
It's not (just) about our own personal amusement. Games have taught them important life skills, over and above not shooting “innocents” and the value of a well-timed hip tilt. Games, like life, rely on a mixture of strategy, cooperation, luck, skill.[4] They can also be improved, reimagined, adapted. Going the additional step of making games out of everyday life requires creativity, innovation, imagination, and an ability to “find the fun”. The ‘Bocce Bawl’ incident was part of a process that taught her to work through frustration and that a “win” takes different forms. Sometimes “winning” can be about helping the other person win, like with their “I just can’t lose at this game” Papa. And while we may not all/always 14,400 points on the first screen, but we can learn to savour a “good blue screen eat”. Most of all, we hope they learned that there is enjoyment to be found in most any circumstance...by making a game out of it. Games are everything, everywhere, all at once (especially at the fire pit).
This story is in memory of Klaus Teuber [5]
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[1] Cottage Ball is a highly diabolicized (new word) version of the traditional game of Italian lawn bowling that involves throwing the target into as jackass-y locations as possible. Half a mile down the road, in the creek, inside a drain pipe, deep in the woods – these are all ideal. The only thing worse is Cottage Croquet where the risk of having your ball crumped into the lake it exceedingly high.
[2] This place shall remain nameless. Okay, I give. Its “Smuggler’s Cove Adventure Center”. Someone should call the PETA on them. The alligators (aka Caymans) are floating in a chemical cesspool.
[3] I put in my Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours (and probably about $10,000 in quarters) into mastering Tetris. Sometimes I wonder what I would be world class at right now if I had allocated my hours of skill development better.
Also, yes, Tetris fever dreams are a real. Even writing the word “Tetris” will likely impact my sleep tonight. Tetris is a brain worm, like Jon Bon’s “Living on a Prayer” is an earworm.
[4] Luck cannot be relied on. Unless you are M. The frequency with which he draws the black jack, the wild card, the double sixes, defies all rules of statistics. He has the ‘Yahtzee” effect. I, meanwhile, am frequently pondering whether I can use the mercy of “no ace, no face, no bower” to get a re-deal.
Once, in a game of Balderdash, the clue given (repeatedly, despite it clearly having zero traction) was “M has this up his ass” .
Me, trying hard not to be insulted on his behalf: “Um, a thong? A stick? A ruler?”
Actual answer: “a horseshoe”. Which apparently means you are lucky – but not so lucky as to avoid being weighed down by a bad partner.
[5] Gamified Story Game Answers in order of appearance: Petanque, Rummy, Golf, Scrabble, The Floor is Lava, Super Mario, Last Starfighter, Tetris, Buster Brothers, Cameltry, Pick up Sticks, Jenga, Axe Throwing, Flog, Horseshoes, Skull N Bones, Yahtzee, Liars Dice, Backgammon, Badminton, Ping Pong, Pickleball, Soccer, Croquet, Tennis, Spike Ball, Basketball, Hockey, Can Jam, Frisbee Golf, Ultimate, Skipping Stones, Inukshuk-ing, Pebble marbles, Mancala, Hacky Sack, Cornhole, Area51, Globe Trotters, Name-puns , Emoji-stumpers, Head in the Caps, Boombox, Analog Tetris, Sequence, Ms PacMan, Gamified Story Game, Acorn Pop, Settlers of Catan, Euchure.